09 When Success Feels Hollow

🎯 What to Do When Success Feels Empty | Reconnect with Meaning, Purpose, and Joy

You’ve worked hard. You’ve checked all the boxes. From the outside, your life looks successful—but inside, something still feels empty. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is this really it?”—you’re not alone.

In this episode, we explore why success doesn’t always feel the way you expected, what that emptiness is trying to tell you, and how to reconnect with a version of success that feels deeply fulfilling. Whether you're feeling burnt out, misaligned, or just quietly discontent, this is your invitation to pause and come home to yourself.

✅ You’ll learn:

• Why achievement alone won’t satisfy your deeper needs
• How to recognize the signs you’re out of alignment
• Five powerful steps to rediscover purpose, peace, and joy in your leadership and life

💡 This conversation is especially for high-achieving women who want more than performance—they want purpose.

💎 Download my Values Clarification Worksheet to get clear on what matters most.

👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Joyfully Unstoppable—helping women reconnect with what matters most.

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Transcript

0:06

Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for women who are ready to lead boldly, live lightly, and reclaim their joy. Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your own big, beautiful life, I am so glad you found us. I'm your host, Becky Ham, leadership coach, speaker and founder of Women Lead Well. After years of high level leadership, I discovered that success doesn't have to come at the cost of your peace, your values, or your wellbeing. Each week, we'll explore what it means to lead with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Even in a world that tells you to hustle harder and prove your worth, you carry a lot. Let's help it feel lighter. So. I'm gonna make a prediction. It's not a prediction. I'm going to make an observation that I think is probably true. I think that probably you have worked hard. I think you've got the degree. I think you landed the job. I think you've earned the promotion. Maybe Justin, maybe you have even checked every single box on the success checklist that you were told would lead to happiness. And on the outside it looks like you've made it. That's my hunch. But now on the inside, there might be a quiet ache that you can't quite name. The goals keep coming, you keep crushing them, but the joy doesn't show up. And even when you win, even when you succeed, it still didn't feel like enough. It's not actually fulfilling. Now, if that sounds familiar, my friend, I wanna tell you, you are not alone and you are not broken. This hollow feeling, that one that whispers there has got to be more than this. That isn't failure. It is a signal, and it is an invitation to come home to yourself. And that's what we're talking about today. We are exploring why success can feel empty, what that feeling's trying to tell you, and how to rediscover a version of success that feels soul satisfying, not just socially approved, because here's the truth, a lot of us feel this way. Especially those of us who have spent years trying to prove ourselves. So many of us, and here, myself included, we keep pushing forward, collecting accolades and responsibilities, all while carrying the invisible pressure to stay strong, stay grateful, and stay busy. Admitting that something feels off can feel like a betrayal. It feels like you're betraying your hard work. It feels like you're portraying your privilege the honor it is to be in the role that you're in. I mean, it feels like you're portraying the people who helped you so much to get you where you are. So instead you tell your things. You tell yourself things like, I should be happy, or Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe it'll feel better after the next goal, but deep down, something ain't adding up. That equation of success isn't yielding the satisfaction it promised, and yet we often keep this emptiness a secret right, tucked behind the smiles and the polish, and the spreadsheets, and the perfectly curated lives. I wanna say it plainly. You are not ungrateful. You're not. You're awakening now. Let's talk about why success alone isn't enough. Let's talk about where that empty feeling is coming from. From the time we are young, we are fed a story, and that story is achieve more, you'll feel more fulfilled, work hard, and it'll all be worth it. Be the best, and you will finally feel secure and seen and satisfied. But my friend, success without alignment will always feel hollow when your external life is elevating, but your internal life is disconnected, when you've built something impressive, but it doesn't reflect you. That's when the ache begins, because deep fulfillment does not come from boxes checked or titles earned. It comes from living a life in harmony with who you really are, with what matters most to you and the impact you're here to make. For many women, especially women in leadership, success has been tied to survival. We strive to be twice as good, to get half as far. We overperform, overextend, override our intuition in order to belong and be respected, but eventually all of that effort becomes unsustainable, especially when it's rooted in proving instead of your actual purpose. That moment when success stops feeling good, that is the start of your breakthrough. It is a good thing to be celebrated. So if you're feeling that I'm excited for you, I wanna start quickly by talking about some signs that you're out of alignment. Sunday scaries, you dread Monday mornings. Even in the role you once dreamed of. Number two, you are constantly exhausted, not because the work itself is so hard. But because of the effort it takes to keep performing a life that no longer feels true. Number three, you keep achieving because you're amazing, but you feel numb. After each win, you wonder to yourself, is this really it? And then you feel guilty for even ask, even asking a question. These signs are the indication that you've grown. These signs are the indication that you are ready for more, for something that's deeper, for something that is more authentically you. So sweet friend, what should you do when success feels empty, when you have the Sunday scaries, when you have that numbness inside? Well, the first step is to stop silencing the discomfort and start listening to it. Instead of brushing past your feelings, labeling them as selfish or ungrateful or dismissing them as well. I'm just tired. It, uh, I just need some sleep, and it'll slow down. Right? No. Allow yourself to get curious what exactly feels off right now. Where do I feel disconnected or disoriented? Or disillusioned? Let yourself acknowledge the tension. Without immediately trying to fix it and without judging it, curiosity, not judgment. I know for a lot of us, we skip this part'cause we're afraid of what we're gonna find out. It's uncomfortable to really scratch the surface, but naming the truth is the beginning of freedom. You don't need all the answers right away. Simply honoring your emotions without judgment opens the door to healing and clarity. So. I want you to do it. Set time aside to reflect, journal, your honest response. You can ask yourself this question, even though I've been successful, I still feel, take five minutes today and just answer that question for yourself and don't censor yourself. Let the truth come out, even if it surprises you, there's wisdom there in what you uncover next. I want you to take some time to reconnect with what matters most to you. When your outer life looks successful, but your inner life feels hollow, that's often because your choices have drifted out of alignment with your core values. You may have been moving so fast for so long that you haven't had time to ask yourself. What really matters to you now in this specific season of your life? Success without meaning it always leads a void. So. Reflect on when you feel most like yourself. What brings you peace? What ignites your curiosity or your joy? When do you feel energized, engaged, alive? These are clues to your values and that anchors to a life that feels fulfilling. I'll link my values clarification exercise in the show notes to help you really clarify your core values. And as you do that, then you gotta ask the question. How fully am I living these values right now with curiosity, not judgment. And if the answer is I'm not, that is okay, we're gonna get there. After that, it's time to redefine success on your own terms. One of the most liberating things you can do is stop chasing someone else's version of success and begin creating your own. So many women spend years pursuing a success story that someone else wrote for them, and it may have gotten you far right? You may be super successful right now, but if it doesn't fit, it is okay to let it go. Ask yourself, if I weren't trying to impress anyone or prove anything, what would I want? What would success look like if it reflected my soul? Not just my resume. You get to decide what a meaningful, satisfying life looks like, because real success is not about what you achieve, it's about what you value, how you feel, and who you are Now. Once you've done all that, you gotta create some space for truth to surface. You can't hear your own wisdom if you're always drowning in noise. And busyness is something that we do to ourselves to keep us from having the space for that reflection.'cause we're scared about what we might hear. But clarity does not come from more hustle. It comes from space when every moment of your day is packed with meetings, notifications, responsibilities, there is no room for deeper truths to emerge. You need quiet, not just silence, but internal stillness inside of you. I've mentioned journaling, right? Answering that question. You might find that internal stillness through journaling, just letting your mind out in a way that is unforced. You might find it through early morning solitude, A long walk without your phone. Or even, I mean, keep your phone with you for safety reasons, but turn it off, silence it. Just have it there for an emergency safety first. This reflection could just come sitting with a cup of coffee and letting your mind wander. The point isn't to force any insight, right? Like we're past that. We're, we're out of our force it phase in life. The point is to allow your inner knowing that intuition, you know what is best for you. You do, I promise. Let it catch up with your outer pace. And then finally, I want you to give yourself permission to evolve. you don't owe anyone consistency with an outdated version of yourself. Just because something once made sense for you, just because a job used to fit just because it was a dream, just because it was a role that used to fulfill you. That doesn't mean it always is. You are allowed to grow. You're allowed to shift. You're allowed to want something different for yourself. So ask yourself, what am I no longer willing to pretend is working? And what would it look like to honor that truth? You don't have to throw away everything you've built. This is not about burning it all down. You simply get to build forward in a way that's more aligned with you, more joyful in a way that is more you. And here is my promise. When you stop leading from a place of performance and start leading from a place of presence, everything changes. You begin to trust yourself more. You stop chasing things and start choosing the things that are truly meant for you. You lead with joy, and your leadership becomes a reflection of who you truly are, not who the world told you to be. Now this shift doesn't mean you a abandon ambition quite the opposite. It means you anchor your ambition in authenticity, and that is where the most powerful, sustainable, soul nourishing leadership is born. You'll be so much more effective. You will crush such bigger goals this way, in a way that is joyful, sustainable, and authentic because it is grounded in your truth. So. If success feels empty to you, that doesn't mean you've made a wrong turn. It just means you've reached the edge of someone else's definition and you're ready to right your own. Because you weren't meant to live someone else's version of a successful life. You were made to live yours with joy and clarity and deep fulfillment. Now friends, if this episode spoke to you, I would love for you to share it with someone who's running on empty. We need more women leading from alignment, not adrenaline. And if you're ready to begin your burnout recovery journey, join the wait list for Frantic to Flourishing. I've linked it in the show notes for you. Make sure you're on that email list so you don't miss the launch. Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership is possible. Until next time, I'm Becky Ham, and this is joyfully Unstoppable.