12 What To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

Feeling Overwhelmed? Here’s What to Do | Joyfully Unstoppable Podcast

Do you ever feel like you're carrying too much—but don’t know how to set it down?

In this episode of Joyfully Unstoppable, we’re talking about what to do when you feel overwhelmed—especially if you're the kind of woman others count on. If you're a high-achieving, overextended leader who's always juggling too much, this conversation is for you.

You’ll learn:
 ✨ Why overwhelm isn’t a personal failure—it’s a leadership signal
 ✨ How to regulate your nervous system when you feel maxed out
 ✨ The mindset shift that makes decision-making easier
 ✨ Practical strategies to reset your energy, set boundaries, and anchor yourself in calm
 ✨ Why you don’t have to do it all alone

If you’re ready to lead with more clarity, peace, and purpose—even in the middle of the mess—this episode will help you take your next right step.

Joyfully Unstoppable—helping women reconnect with what matters most.

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Transcript

0:05

Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for women who are ready to lead boldly, live lightly, and reclaim their joy. Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your own big, beautiful life, I am so glad you found us. I'm your host, Becky Hammm leadership coach, speaker and founder of Women Lead Well. After years of high level leadership, I discovered that success doesn't have to come at the cost of your peace, your values, or your wellbeing. Each week we'll explore what it means to lead with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Even in a world that tells you to hustle harder and prove your worth, you carry a lot. Let's help it feel lighter Now, friends, you are smart, you are capable. You are the kind of woman that others count on. And yet still, I guarantee there are days when you feel overwhelmed. The mental load, the emotional exhaustion, the pressure to do it all and to do it perfectly. If that sounds familiar, my sweet friend. You are not alone. In fact, it is way more common than most of us realize because most of us feel overwhelmed. There's something about this year, 2025 is. Insane. So many of us are just at the edge of our rope, and so I just wanna tell you, if nothing else, like if you could turn off the podcast here in 30 seconds, but I just want you to know that feeling overwhelmed, that is not a sign that you're failing. It's not a sign that you can't hold it all together, that you aren't strong enough. The universe is just like freaking out right now, and everything is just hard. So that overwhelm. That is a signal, that is information that is something for us to get curious about. Not judgmental. That's just telling us that something is out of alignment. Right? That, Instead of being grounded in ourselves in our strength and our values and our priorities, that we have externalized our center of gravity, right? And our center of gravity has shifted from us to the to-do list and the responsibilities and other people's expectations. And that's good because you don't have to stay there. You can bring that center of gravity, you can bring your core back to you. And so this is what I want you to know as a leadership coach who helps women lead joyfully, sustainably, and authentically, I want you to know that feeling overwhelmed does not mean that you're broken. It just means that you're overloaded. It just means that you've shifted your core outside of yourself and you don't have to stay there. So let's walk through it together. we're gonna talk about what it means to feel overwhelmed, and then the steps that you can take to bring yourself back. When you feel overwhelmed, your brain and your body are talking, right? They're trying to protect you. We've talked about body budget in a previous episode. I'll remember, I'll try to remember to link it in the show notes below in case you haven't heard that one. It's a great episode. Um, I think it's episode six or seven. I forget, but your brain, your body has one job and that is keep your happy self alive. And so. It's going to, when it starts to feel, you've got inputs that you put into your body budget, and that would be rest and nutritional food and healthy movement and energizing relationships and connections. And then you've got things that drain your body budget, right? The, the expenditures outta your body budget, that would be poor sleep, living off a caffeine or food that is not nutrient dense. That would be the relationships and the activities that drain your energy. When you've got more going out than you've got coming in, more expenditures than deposits, your brain shifts into survival mode. And it is gonna protect like your liver function and your blood flow before it protects your executive function. Right? And your ability to multitask and your memory. I mean, it'll keep the memory to not get you killed, but the memory of what is that thing that Tommy said last week that I need to remember for Project X? No, it's gone because your mind is trying to keep you alive and there's more going out. Than there is coming in. You've shifted. The body has shifted into survival mode, into scarcity, and so that's all that means. When you're feeling overwhelmed, when it's all too much, it's your brain and your body trying to protect you. The demands on you exceed your current capacity. Maybe that's mentally, emotionally, physically. Maybe it's all three. And what do we tend to do as high achieving women when that happens? When we hit that overwhelm, we tend to ignore the signals. Right, because we've been taught to equate success with self-sacrifice, and so we push through, we continue to over-function, we disconnect from our needs. How many times have you worked through a day and missed lunch? Hi. I do it all the time. I used to do it all the time. I don't do it anymore. I would skip breakfast. Now I've committed. I make myself a hot breakfast every morning. It's a good life. But there is this habit, and many of us have fallen for this habit. We have followed this habit for decades that we alienate ourselves from our own bodies, from our own physical, emotional, mental needs, because we're strong. Right. We can push through enough time to sleep when we're dead. Did you remember saying that maybe when you were in your twenties or going through grad school or whatever, the truth is that constantly overriding our body, constantly draining the body budget with no inputs that catches up with us. That explains the headaches, the irritability, the late night overthinking when you can't go to sleep. That brain that keeps spinning. That tight feeling in your chest or that ache in your neck and your back. That's your body telling you that you are at your limit. And yes, you are a superstar. Yes, you are amazing. Yes, you are phenomenal, but your actual body needs actual support. And I'm emphasizing that because recognizing that real root of overwhelm, that's the first step toward reclaiming. Your clarity reclaiming your piece. That's the first step toward more deposits than expenditures. So before you do anything else, I want you to pause If you are feeling overwhelmed, or the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, pause. Step number one is regulate your nervous system and signal safety in your body. How do you do that? That might mean taking a few slow, deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, hold at the top, breathe out through your mouth. If you catch yourself yawning when you're doing that, that's great. That means your nervous system is regulating. It's exactly what you want, and you can do that deep breathing anywhere. You don't have to be in private. You can do a deep breathing exercise in a team meeting, right? You can do that anywhere. You can regulate your nervous system, signal safety to your body anywhere. If you have the opportunity or the where, depending on where you are. Step outside. Get a little vitamin D on your skin. Touch grass, put your hand on a tree, whatever that is. Feel the wind on your face if you can. You can put your hand on your heart, you can put a hand on your belly. All of that signals safety to your body. Give your nervous system a chance to settle down. That is always step one before you do anything. I teach my clients this all the time before any action or reaction. Step one, regulate the nervous system. And I know this might feel counterintuitive because if your mind is spinning, you wanna get stuck in your mind, right? Let me think through how I can solve this problem. Me think through what I can get done so I don't feel this way anymore. Right? You, you try to get in our, and we are so. Um, stuck in our brains anyway as Americans in this particular period of history. So it can feel counterintuitive to try to get outta your mind and into your body, but I am telling you, my friend, get outta your mind. Get into your body. Regulate that nervous system signal, clear, serious safety in your body. You wouldn't fix a car while it's overheating. The same goes with you regulate your body. When you do that, that gives your brain the clarity it needs to think and prioritize and lead with intention. So regulating your nervous system, always step one. Now you've done that. Great. Yay. Let's talk about step two. Now it's time to clear your mind. Overwhelm thrives in chaos. Right? That's, that's what lives in our head. That's the inner, that's all of the stuff, all of those, uh, mental tabs that are open, right? The mental load. And then in addition, we've got that super helpful inner critic in the back who's just like me, me, me, me, me on every decision that we take or every task that we don't finish, all of that. It just sits there and churns the emails. We haven't answered the unspoken expectations that we have or that it feels like other people have for us. All of that is what we call mental load. So write it all down. Get it outta your brain. Get it on paper. I don't want you to censor it. I'm not asking you to organize it. We'll get to that later right now. Just get it out. The brain dump doesn't have to be pretty, it just has to be honest. Get it all there on a sheet of paper or if a Google Doc, whatever works for you, I'll link my mental load reset in the show notes. It's designed to help you with this process and so lay it all down. Once you've got everything out, Take a look. What on this list is urgent? What on this list is important? What is just noise? What's somebody else's priority? Getting clarity on why you feel overwhelmed is what makes it possible to take aligned effective action. And here is where things start to shift. When you feel overwhelmed, it's easy to believe that everything matters equally because they're all just open tabs in your brain, right? And one tab doesn't seem bigger than they're all there and it's crowded and it's making noise, but it is rarely true that they are all equally important. Overwhelm isn't just about having too much to do, it's about feeling disconnected from what matters most, right? It's about feeling disconnected from that meaning, so you get it all out on paper. You figure out what's urgent, what's important, what ain't right. Pause and ask yourself what actually deserves my energy right now? And sometimes that answer is a deadline. Something is urgent and you do have to get it knocked out. Sometimes it's rest, sometimes, and we're gonna dig into this in a second. It's setting a boundary, letting go of something that no longer fits. It is a. I, I talk in other places and you'll see it, I think it's in the mental load, reset the ditch delegate delay, and do model some of this stuff. You can just ditch close the tab without remorse. And so this is a great moment to return to your core values. Because when you reconnect with what matters to you, beyond the noise, beyond the roles, beyond the expectations, you start to see what you can ditch, what you can delegate, delegation as a leadership tool, what you can delay, just not do right now. You got it on paper, so you're not gonna forget, right? But you don't have to deal with it now, or what actually needs to get done, what you need to spend your time and energy on today. One of the most empowering things you can do when you feel overwhelmed is stop trying to do everything so that you can focus on doing the right thing. And that means you gotta let everything else go. So once you've taken care of everything that's contributing to your overwhelm, you've got it outta your head and onto paper. You've held those tasks and obligations up against your values. Now it's time to set some boundaries, and I know. I know a lot of us don't like boundaries. It feels scary, but boundaries don't actually alienate you from people. Boundaries are not walls. People talk about'em that way, but it's not true. Good boundaries let other people know how to connect well with you. Boundaries strengthen relationships because they establish relationships that actually work for everyone involved. That includes you. Where you need a boundary, but you don't have it, that relationship is actually dysfunctional. That relationship ain't working for you, right? So boundaries are instruction manuals. You're teaching someone how to interact with you in a way that benefits both of you. They help healthy relationships. And when you feel overwhelmed, even tiny boundaries can bring immediate relief. Turn off your notifications. Block a focus hour on your calendar. Tell someone, let me get back to you on that. Don't commit in the mo. Never commit in the moment. Always say, let me get back to you on that. Log off at a reasonable hour. Eat lunch away from your laptop. I know the resistance to setting boundaries comes from fear. You're afraid of disappointing other people, of missing out seeing, being unhelpful. But effective leadership requires sustainability, and sustainability requires boundaries. Remember, you are allowed to protect your peace. Micro boundaries help you reclaim your power in small ways every day. So. Now it gets good. You have everything out of your brain. You've identified what aligns with your values and what doesn't. You've put some boundaries in place. You've done the ditch. Delegate delay, do. Next, I want you to create an anchor. Think of your anchors as like a tiny little ritual that brings you back to center. I had talked about overwhelm because you've shifted your center of gravity, you've shifted your core outside of yourself onto the to-do list and the responsibilities and the other people's expectations. This anchor brings you back to yourself, and I don't want it to be fancy. I'm talking about like a three minute morning check-in. I'm talking about. Some deep breathing at your desk before you open your email. I'm talking about a journal prompt before you go to bed, where you identify the three things you're grateful for in the day. It might be a stretch and a reset between meetings. I don't want it to be elaborate, it just needs to be consistent. Something that works for you. So experiment, figure out what works best for you, what brings you back to yourself to that feeling of safety in your body. These small practices, those anchors help you build trust with yourself. They send a signal to your nervous system that I'm safe, I'm in charge. I got this. And when everything feels like it's swirling, your anchor routine brings you back to solid ground. And now finally, I want you to remember that you don't have to do any of this alone. Here's something a lot of women leaders won't admit out out. Sometimes we feel ashamed for feeling overwhelmed. We think I should have it together by now, I should be able to handle this. But leadership doesn't mean doing it all alone. It never did. You are allowed to need support. Whether that's a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a friend, you do not have to carry everything by yourself. And frankly, as humans, we aren't meant to carry everything by ourselves. We are inherently communal creatures. So tap into those connections that feed you. This is not the time to tap into connection with folks who drain you, but tap into that connection with people who feed you and let that connection remind you that you are safe. And you are fully capable of handling your responsibilities. So I wanna end where I started and tell you that feeling overwhelmed does not mean that you failed. It means you're being called back to your body, to your values, to your humanity. You shifted your center of gravity from yourself and your strength to do things outside of yourself. The to-do list and the responsibilities, right, became more important. But this moment of overwhelm, then that's a moment, an invitation to realign, to bring your center back to you. So take it. You carry a lot, but you do not have to carry it all. If you are ready to move from survival mode to a more soul aligned way of leading, I would love to walk alongside you maybe with, that's with one-to-One coaching. So please check out on the website, uh, the coaching opportunities that are available. And then also my 12 week program, frantic to Flourishing is designed to help women reconnect with their values, their voice, and their vision, so you can lead with confidence and joy without burning out or betraying yourself. And I'm offering that program because you deserve to feel good in the life that you have worked so hard to build. If that sounds like it could be supportive to you, I'm inviting you to join the wait list that's at Women Lead well.net/flourishing. So you'll be first in line when doors open later this summer. And if this episode spoke to you, I would love for you to share it with a friend who's running on empty. We need more women leading from alignment, not adrenaline. You can also grab one of our free resources like the Mental Load Reset or the Values clarification exercise@womenleadwell.net linked in the show notes below. Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership is possible. You deserve to enjoy every minute of it. Until next time, I'm Becky Hammm. And this is joyfully unstoppable. Okay.