29 Defining Your Core Values: The Cornerstone of Joyful, Sustainable, and Authentic Leadership

Defining your core values is not just a reflective exercise. It is a practical leadership strategy that brings clarity, confidence, and ease into every part of your life.

In this episode of Joyfully Unstoppable, we explore why your values are the most powerful tool you have for leading with purpose and alignment. When you know what truly matters to you, everything becomes simpler:
• Decisions feel clearer
• Your focus becomes sharper
• Your leadership feels grounded and authentic
• Your life begins to feel lighter because you are no longer pulled in competing directions

Inside the episode, you will learn:
• How your values act as your internal compass
• Why values-driven leadership makes your work more joyful and sustainable
• What it truly looks like to lead from your values in daily life
• How leadership feels when you are disconnected from what matters most
• A simple process for identifying your core values
• Three practical ways to align your calendar, your decisions, and your communication with your values

This conversation is especially meaningful for women who carry a lot at work and at home and who want their leadership to feel more aligned, more spacious, and more energizing.

#JoyfullyUnstoppable #WomenLeadWell #WomenWhoLead #PodcastForWomen #LeadershipDevelopment #CoreValues #AuthenticLeadership #SustainableLeadership #LeadershipPodcast #WomenInLeadership #ValuesDrivenLeadership #ConfidentLeadership #PersonalGrowthForWomen #LeadershipSkills

Joyfully Unstoppable—helping women reconnect with what matters most.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode!

✨ Let’s stay connected
Want more support as you lead with clarity, confidence, and joy? Here’s how we can keep growing together:

💻 Grab Your Success Blueprint and make 2026 your best year yet!
👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 Join the Women Lead Well Community on Facebook!
🌿 Meet Becky – Get to know the heart behind the mic
💼 Coaching for Women Leaders – Ready for personalized support? Explore 1:1 coaching
📚 Free Leadership Resources – Practical tools to help you lead (and live) well
🏡 Explore Women Lead Well – Learn more about Women Lead Well and everything we offer

Transcript

1:06

Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for women who are ready to lead boldly, live lightly and reclaim their joy. Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your own. Big, beautiful life. I am so glad you found us. I'm your host, Becky Ham leadership coach, speaker and founder of Women Lead Well. After years of high level leadership, I discovered that success does not have to come at the cost of your peace, your values, or your wellbeing. Each week, we'll explore what it means to lead joyfully, sustainably, and authentically, even in a world that tells you to hustle harder, improve your worth. You carry a lot. Let's help it feel lighter. You know, I talk about values all the time on this podcast, and so I thought it might be a nice idea to actually dedicate an entire episode to talking about values and, and the role that values play in leadership. Why do I care so much about values? Well, I think maybe it's a couple of reasons. One, probably in my own life I have spent some time, um, disconnected from my core values operating and being pretty successful in a career, but not really grounded into my core values. And so feeling that disconnection and that. Just yuck of not being aligned, not feeling lit up. And so now that I've really dialed in my core values and gotten super clear on them and aligned my decision making with my values, my life is so much better that I just wanna, I wanna shout from the rooftops and I wanna all women to know about the beauty, the joy that comes from leading in a way that is aligned, living in a way that is aligned with your values. Leadership in particular gets so much easier and clearer and more sustainable when you are anchored in what matters most to you. The tagline for this company, joyful, sustainable, authentic Leadership. When you know your core values and you live your core values every day. You cannot help but be joyful. Your work by definition is sustainable because you're connected to the biggest energy engine there would ever be your core values, and you are by definition, authentic because you're leading in a way that is connected to what matters most to you. It doesn't get more authentic than that, and so. Yeah, values are pretty important to me in my own life. They're important to the work that I do within Women Lead Well. And so yeah, we're gonna spend some time today and we're gonna talk about them. And I wanna start by saying, you know, when I ask women on a coaching call, when I ask them what matters most to them, what are their core values? I can get that, you know, that look, that blank stare, that look of, uh, what, when the, when your teacher would cold call you, you know, back when you were a student. Like you didn't know the answer in that. Like, panic deer in the headlights face. Right? Not because women don't have core values. We all have things that matter most to us. But simply because we can get really wrapped up in the doing of life, and particularly if you are a woman and you are leading in a formal capacity, you're in a job where you are leading others, and then you also have a personal life where maybe you've got family, maybe you've got children that you're leading, maybe you are connected to your community in some way. Maybe you are, like I am, maybe you're part of that sandwich generation and you are helping to take care of your parents at the same time that you're taking care of your children at the same time that you are working at the same time that you are active in your community. That's a whole lot. And so you probably spend a good chunk of your time putting other people ahead of yourself. And so it's not that you don't have core values, it's that you are so focused outside of yourself that you haven't potentially sent the attention. Inside to really get clear on those values. They're there. And what we're gonna talk about today is how do you get clear on them, right? How do you learn what they are? And then how do you align your life? How do you make decisions that align with those core values? And so when you hear the word values, you might think of something that's abstract and maybe kind of intellectual and something that would come up in a college classroom. And sure, yes, we can talk about it in that way, but what I'm talking about. Today, the way that we use values within Women lead Well is that they are practical, they are strategic, they are frankly the stepping stones. They are your roadmap. They are your North star, the guideposts to joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership. And another thing I'm gonna keep going, particularly today, particularly 2025, moving into 2026. Things are changing so quickly. So many things are uncertain right now. So many demands are put on us as successful women. There's so many competing expectations. So not only are the demands there, not only is the uncertainty high, but we've got all of these expectations placed on us that we can't possibly fulfill all of them simultaneously, right? Like it's just impossible. In a way that it feels like has not always been the case. That ambiguity, that uncertainty, that, that competition for us, that the overwhelm, right, of all the stuff feels like it is more now than in the past. And so without your internal compass, without knowing what your values are. It is easy to drift into that over-functioning, that people pleasing that perfectionism.'cause you've just gotta lock something down, right? And maybe you're focusing a lot of attention that perfectionism is coming out on things that aren't tied to your core values. And so you're not actually moving the needle on things that matter to you. You're just spinning your wheels because,'cause it lets you fixate on something and that gives you a sense of security when you don't have your inner compass, when you don't have those core values. You also are stuck making a ton of decisions that decision fatigue that sets in because you don't have the prioritization of what is most important when you know your core values, that ditch delegate delay. Do that gets real simple.'cause you know you're gonna ditch stuff that's not aligned with your values. You're gonna do the stuff that is aligned with your values, and then the delegate and delay is, those are just, those are the decisions that you're making. Do I delegate this or not? Do I end up doing it? Do I shift it into a ditch? Do I do it now? Do I do it later? Right? Your decision making becomes so much easier. Your mental load. Eases. And so values are that stabilizing force. They keep us grounded. They help us be decisive and quickly decisive. And because our values are what light us up, they're what matters most to us. They keep us energized. Anything that's aligned with the value is gonna be aligned with an energy engine. There will be an energy engine that aligns with that value. I may say it that way. There might be things that you can do that are aligned with the value that is not an energy engine. So you might have to think about how you wanna execute on a value, but by definition, your values are gonna energize you'cause,'cause you care about them, you love them, they're important to you. So values keep us focused on what matters most to us. They help. Deal with that overwhelm. That is such a defining feature of the world we live in today and, and they help maximize our impact because we are being intentional, focused on the things we care about. We're gonna have a greater impact because we are focusing all of our energy on a shorter list of things. So yeah, win-win all the way around, they're awesome. So I. What does it mean to actually lead from your values? When I talk about leading from your values, I do not mean that like pretty little is like you. You come up with your core values and we'll talk about how you do that here and a second, and then you've heard me talk about it before. I do have a free values clarification exercise on the Women Lead Well website. I'll put the link in the show notes below where you just go to Women Lead well.net. Free resource tab and you'll find it there. So we'll get into that in a second. But when I'm talking about leading from your values, I don't mean that you just like have the list and you stick it on your wall and then it's there and you can say, oh, there, those are my values. I know what they are now. Like, yay, do that. I love having values listed somewhere that it's easy for you to see. But what I'm talking about is that getting clear on and responsive to. Those deeper truths of how you move through this world. And so I spoke a couple of episodes ago about how I left a job because it was incompatible with my values. The work was good, the pay was great, but it just didn't align with my core values and so I jumped off a really big cliff to found women lead well, the first business I founded, the year I turned 50, there was a lot stacked against me and a lot of people thought I was a little bit crazy. But I'll tell you what, it was the easiest decision I may have ever made. I mean, it just made sense to me. And on the other side of that decision, it was the best decision I have ever made because of what I now am able to do with women lead well, the women I am now able to serve because I'm doing this full time and the connection and the peace and the joy I have at home with my family because I'm more available to them. And so when we think about leading from your values. What I mean is that these are principles that actually guide your decisions. They actually frame inform, support your relationships, and they deeply inform the way you show up in the world. And also leading from your values. Helps you grow more confident as a leader because you're not basing your choices off of other people's expectations what other people think you should do. Remember the no shoulds, right? You're not basing your, your decisions or your actions on what other people expect or other people's priorities or what sounds impressive or what might what, what creates the least amount of friction you are basing your decisions. On what matters most to you about what truly motivates you, what you actually care about, and when you do that consistently over time, you grow more confident in your decision making because you show yourself that when you trust yourself, it feels good. When you trust yourself, good things happen. Because when you make decisions that align with your values. Like good things are gonna happen. Maybe not what you expect, but good things are gonna happen and so. If you are a person, if you're a woman who doesn't necessarily trust herself or isn't confident in her ability as a leader, then it's even more important for you to get clear on your values because once you're clear on those values and once you let them guide your decisions and how you show up and how you act, and the things you do, and where you put your time and your energy, you will by definition grow more confident in your leadership because your leadership will be aligned with your values. And that is just a recipe for success. So let's talk about how you do identify your core values. And again, get that free download on Women Lead well.net. The values Clarification exercise. It's a template, it walks you through, you just answer the questions. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. But to give a quick overview here on the podcast, thing number one. You wanna notice what energizes you, what lights you up, what fills you with joy, and that you are gonna know it as I describe it. I don't know that there's a word in the English language for it, but that combination of energy and peace. And I'll give the example from my own life. So, um, I love my children. I just do. I love them. I'm a girl mom, and they are amazing. And I, I was so blessed to be able to have two children in my forties. That doesn't happen for everyone. And I tell you every day I'm so grateful for them and co-regulation. Is a thing, right? So co-regulation of the nervous system is that humans and animals, you see this in horses and dogs all the time. If somebody is dysregulated and they come into contact with an individual who is regulated, the person with the regulated nervous system can help to regulate the dysregulated individual. And so there is this thing that we do in my family when one of our girls is upset is they come to me and we like chest to chest. Hug, like we full body hug, but like chest touching, chest hug. And they're still small enough that I can kind of wrap myself all around them and they get fully enveloped and, and we just sit there and I just, I just sit there and hold them and love them and feel the joy of holding them and love them. And, and it just, that feeling energizes me like that gives me so much life. And it is the most peaceful, nurturing, calm, grounded feeling that I feel anywhere. And so this is what I'm asking you, what gives you that feeling so energized, not nervous energy, not anxious energy, but what fills you with that life affirming, joyful, and grounded feeling. And so just take some notes, just flesh it out. Jot some things where I talk about hugging my kid also for me being outta nature clear. Um, being in my home when it's peaceful and calm and, and just that feeling of nurturing. Right? What is it for you? Everybody is different. No, should not, what should energize you, but if you're truly honest, what actually does. And my sweet friend. If you have spent decades so focused on other people that you don't really know how to answer that question, you don't know what energizes you outside of like anxious energy, then that's okay too. Don't worry about it. It's okay. Start to notice. Ask yourself as you're falling asleep at night what energized me today? Was there anything in my day today that brought me delight, that brought me joy, that felt good, that I want more of? And then when you wake up in the morning, you ask yourself, what today is going to delight me? What today is gonna bring me deep joy? And then as those things come up, you can write'em down. I love the notes app on my phone for this or the journal app on my phone. You can just kind of like start to note things and over the next few weeks as you note them, just be intentional every day to ask yourself, today I am gonna look for. And then at the end of the day, what did I notice? You just write the notes and then after a while you just start looking for the patterns. So if you don't know how to answer these questions as I ask them to you today, that is perfectly okay. You can figure it out. You'll get there. It's all right. We all start from different places. So what is it that energizes you, fills you up, your excitement, right? That feeling is the information. That's your tell. That's your body saying this is aligned. The inverse is also true, and we looked at this when we did our our year-end review. I asked you very similar questions because that like those energetics, I don't know the word for it, like that really is informative and so what frustrates you? What makes you angry? I mentioned in that year-end review episode that that is often a good indication that one of your core values has been violated. And so just start asking, as you go through the day, or as you look back on the past week or the past month, or the past year, what really stands out to you as being the most frustrating, the most angry, where you have the deepest resentments. And again, just start noting those, you don't have to make any decision like this. You're just gathering information at this point. So start to jot those down because that friction, that resent, that negative energy tells you something was not aligned there, right? The excitement, the energy, the good positive vibe that is aligned with your values, the frustration, the anger, the resentment that is not aligned with your values. So you're starting to get the picture of, of. Where the, the lines are, where the walls are. And then as you do this, try to identify your proudest moments. When are you most proud of yourself? And this may be would be over the past year. Over the past several months. Our values tend to show up in our best work, right? And so if you ask yourself like, when was I really proud of my, when did I feel. Good. Like I had done it, like I was showing up and showing out like, what is that moment for you? Capture it because again, you prob probably your core values are, are stuck in there somewhere. Right. And then finally the last question that I would have you consider at this point is to think about what you want your legacy to stand for. What do you wanna be remembered when you leave the job you're in? When you move on to go do something else? What do you want to be remembered for? That that idea of legacy also is tied to our values. It helps us get clear on our priorities of what, of what really matters most to us. And what we wanna be remembered for is oftentimes deeply associated with what we value most. And so just be thinking of all those different roles that you have as a mother, as a daughter, as a supervisor, as, uh, a member of a community group, right? All those different roles. What do you want for your legacy? And again, you're just gathering that information. And then as you gather the answers to those different questions, start looking for patterns. Where do you see themes? What's showing up, time and time again? And that can be a positive theme because it's aligned with the value, or it could be a negative theme because it's something that violates a core value. And if it's a negative theme, then ask yourself, what does this represent? What does this violate? What is this a denial of And as you refine, that's gonna show you what the value is. The value isn't in the negative. The value is in what is lacking in that negative. And so as we start to wrap this episode, I wanna leave you. With three ways that you can lead from your values every single day. So again, you're gonna refine them. You're gonna come up with that list. I always like to post them around the office so you can see them part, you're gonna internalize them after a time, but particularly in the, in the beginning, being able to see them, I think it's helpful. But these are things you can do on the regular. To connect your values to your actual life. Thing number one is a calendar audit. You knew I was gonna tell you this. Check your calendar against your values. Are your meetings, are your commitments? Are your projects aligned with your core values? If they are, amazing, if they're not. What would you like to do about that? What would you like to do to create more space in your calendar, more time for things that are aligned with your values? What are some activities that might belong on the calendar that maybe you have been putting off? Because all those other commitments got crowded in. So step one, calendar audit, and I would do this on the weekly, right? We have got, um, a weekly review that you can download off the Women Lead Well website. It's one of our free resources that allows you, at the end of every week to do a review of the past week and look forward and plan for the next week. And that value scrub or that values calendar audit is part of that weekly review. So check that out if you haven't already, and I would just start making this part of your weekly reset. Two, and I've talked about it already today, but I'm gonna reaffirm it here. You really want to use your values as a filter when you make your decisions. So whatever choice you're facing, you just ask yourself, does this choice align with my core values? Is there a choice that is better aligned with my core values? And you wanna make the choice that feels most aligned to you, and I'll be very clear, it's gonna scare the crap outta you the first few times you do it. I didn't quit my job and launch a company the first time I decided to align a decision with my values. I had been doing that for a while, right? To build up to that big of a decision. And so you might need to start small if you're just getting clear on your values now, and if this is a, a beginning of the process for you. You wanna be intentional and consistent about aligning your decisions with your values. And the more you do that, the easier it becomes and the bigger decisions, um, become easier to align. And I think easy is not the right word, simpler to align, right? It becomes, the decision becomes simple, the decision becomes clear. It might still be scary, it might still be challenging, right? Um, it's not necessarily easy to do. But it's obvious and it's clear that it is what needs to be done. So that is what I would say. And then step three is you wanna communicate your values clearly, consistently, and. You wanna make sure your family knows your core values, that your teammates know your core values, that your boss knows your core values, stakeholders. And it might not be that you say, I value service, family freedom, and harmony, because that sounds a little like what? But, but as you talk about things you want to say, oh, I love this idea. Because it allows for us to have more freedom as a family, or, I don't think I can do that because it's not consistent with the commitment I put on my family, right? So you talk about your values and how you speak to different situations and decisions and ideas. As you do that, the more you do that. You're building trust. Why? Because you are communicating to people, this is what matters to me. This is how I'm gonna make decisions. This is how I'm gonna prioritize my time. This is what I'm gonna put my attention to and what I'm not. And so you are giving people with all that chaos of the world right now, all that uncertainty, you are giving people certainty in their relationship with you. So that builds trust. It strengthens relationships, and it gives your team a clear sense of what matters most to you, which is gonna matter to your team, right? And what they can expect from you, which reduces their mental load, right? You're taking stress off of them by giving them that clarity. And so again, win, win, win, win, win, right? Knowing your values and living by your values. Slam dunk all the way around, so. As we wrap, I invite you to ask yourself, what is one value that you wanna embrace more fully this coming week? One value that you wanna embrace more fully this week, and maybe you wanna journal on that. Maybe you wanna talk with a friend or a partner or a colleague, a mentor about it. Maybe you wanna come into the Women Lead Well Community on Facebook and chat about it there. I would love to hear. Your core value and how you're gonna more fully embody that this week, and I hope you'll join me next week as I walk you through how to make friends with your inner critic. The holidays can be rough for a lot of us. We can have that voice in the back of our head getting really loud, kind of negative. We can have well-meaning family members and loved ones, ask us questions that might send that inner critic into hyperdrive. And so let's get out ahead of it. The inner critic is always gonna be there. It's just a part of us, but one we can dial in the messaging, and two, we can strengthen the voice of our inner cheerleader. And so that's what we're gonna do next week. I hope that you will join us. Now, if this episode spoke to you, I would love for you to share it with a friend who's running on empty. We need more women leading from alignment, not adrenaline. And don't forget to like and subscribe. And again, please rate and review. It really helps a little podcast like mine. You can also grab one of our free resources, like the weekly reset, like the values clarification exercise@womenleadwell.net, and LinkedIn, the show notes below. Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership. Is possible and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it. Until next time, I'm Becky Ham and this is joyfully unstoppable.